Chuck Norris. Man-man. March 10, 1940

Chuck Norris. Man-man. March 10, 1940

Some interesting facts:

Chuck's childhood
Chuck Norris was born secret from his parents.
No one saw Chuck Norris in childhood, except for his doll and bear.
It is not true that Chuck Norris’s father was a mere mortal. Chuck Norris returned to the past and conceived himself.
Chuck Norris as a child slept with a real bear.
Pandora's box was actually a music box with which Chuck Norris played as a child.
When Chuck Norris got tired of being small, he rewound time forward with the help of UChNR.
As a child, Chuck Norris dreamed of becoming Chuck Norris.

Adult Life Chuck Norris

Tears of Chuck Norris treat cancer. But he is so cool that he never cries. At all.
Chuck Norris never sleeps. He is waiting.
Chuck Norris is currently suing the NBC channel, arguing that the words “Law” and “Order” are registered trademarks of his left and right legs.
The bulk of Chuck Norris exports is suffering.
If you see Chuck Norris, he sees you. If you don’t see Chuck Norris, you may have only a few seconds left to live.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.
Chuck Norris does not go hunting, because the word "hunt" implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes to kill.
Chuck Norris does not wash his clothes, he will gut it.
Chuck Norris 1/8 - Cherokee. Origin has nothing to do with it, he ate a damn Indian.
On the last page of the Guinness Book of Records in small print it is indicated that all world records belong to Chuck Norris, and the book simply lists those people who managed to get close to them.
There is no chin behind the beard of Chuck Norris, there is another fist.
Chuck Norris - the only person who beat the wall in tennis.
One day, Chuck Norris ate three two-kilogram steaks in an hour. And the first 45 minutes, he fucked the waitress.
The Great Wall of China was built to protect against Chuck Norris, but the idea shamefully failed.
Chuck Norris invented a time machine and went back in time to prevent the assassination of John F. Kennedy. When Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard and repelled them. Kennedy's head was smashed solely by amazement.
Many men have one egg more than another. Chuck Norris has EACH egg more than the other.
Chuck Norris' house has no doors - only the walls through which it passes.
There are no races - there are just people whom Norris has beaten to varying degrees of blue and black.
Chuck Norris uses a nightlight, not because he is afraid of the dark, but because the darkness is afraid of Chuck Norris.
When God said, “Let there be light!”, Chuck replied: “Say please,”!
Chuck Norris never shaves - he just kicks himself in the face.
The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his entire life. And for Chuck Norris, it's just “boring Tuesday.”
Weapons of mass destruction does not exist. There is only Chuck Norris.
There is no theory of evolution - just a list of creatures that Chuck Norris spared.
A typical living room has 1242 items with which Chuck Norris can kill you, including the room itself.
Chuck Norris formulated a new theory of relativity, according to which there are many universes, in which Chuck Norris is even cooler than ours. When the same theory was publicly stated by Albert Einstein,Chuck Norris slapped him off his feet and now we know Einstein as Stephen Hawking.
Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck decorated with human skulls.
Chuck Norris is the only human being who embodies Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle — you never know exactly where and when he bumps you off your feet.
Chuck Norris argued with NASA that he could survive in zero gravity without a spacesuit. July 19, 1999 naked Chuck Norris went into outer space, flew over 14th states, warming up to a temperature of 3000 degrees. Embarrassed, NASA publicly announced that it was a meteor and still owes Chuck Norris a beer.
Nagasaki never dropped bombs. This is Chuck Norris jumped out of the plane and stomped.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil in exchange for always looking great and possessing incomparable abilities in the martial arts. When the exchange was completed, Norris slapped the devil with his feet and took his soul back. The devil, who always appreciated good jokes, did not get angry and admitted that he should have foreseen such a turn of events. Now the two of them play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
One day, Chuck Norris so strongly broke someone's feet, that his leg exceeded the speed of light, moved into the past and killed Amelia Earhart when she flew over the Pacific Ocean.
In fact, Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two tons, breathes fire, can eat a hammer, and withstands a shotgun shot.
The shortest way to a man’s heart is the fist of Chuck Norris.
The sign "Disabled Parking" does not mean that this is exactly the place where people with disabilities can park. In fact, he points out that the parking space belongs to Chuck Norris and warns what will happen to those who decide to park there.
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900, he doesn't pay. He just holds up, and the money falls out of the phone themselves.
If Chuck Norris has sex with a man this does not mean that he is gay. It simply means that women have temporarily run out.
In fact, Chuck Norris died 10 years ago. Just death is afraid to tell him about it.
Chuck Norris invented the rifle, liquor, sexual contact and football - in that order.
Chuck Norris never reads books. He stares at them until he gets all the information he needs.
One day, Chuck Norris ate the cake before his friends had time to tell him that a stripper was sitting inside.
Chuck Norris is not healthy as a bull, this bull is healthy as Chuck Norris.
One day, someone told Chuck Norris that kicking with a turn was not the best way to kick. Historians claim that it was the most terrible mistake in the history of mankind.
The military unit "Chuck Norris" is not present in the game "Civilization 4", because one unit "Chuck Norris" will destroy all nations together in one move.
Chuck Norris can stand lying.
Chuck Norris won in Counter – Strike, playing for hostages.
Chuck Norris does not need to grind coffee, he just chews coffee beans and drinks it with water.
If you are an enemy of Chuck Norris, then a kick at a turn is the last thing you see in your life.
Chuck Norris doesn’t need to whip butter, he just kicks the cow with a kick.
An ordinary person takes blood for analysis using a syringe and beaker, and Chuck Norris needs a gun and a bucket for this.

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  • Chuck Norris. Man-man. March 10, 1940

    Chuck Norris. Man-man. March 10, 1940

    Chuck Norris. Man-man. March 10, 1940

    Chuck Norris. Man-man. March 10, 1940

    Chuck Norris. Man-man. March 10, 1940

    Chuck Norris. Man-man. March 10, 1940

    Chuck Norris. Man-man. March 10, 1940

    Chuck Norris. Man-man. March 10, 1940

    Chuck Norris. Man-man. March 10, 1940

    Chuck Norris. Man-man. March 10, 1940

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